To Make You Groan. . .

From a FB friend:

• I changed my IPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst .
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop any time.
• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity and I can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz .
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
• What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off.
• Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
• Venison for dinner ? Oh deer.
• Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.
• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
• I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.